Blossom away ...

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Spring is my favourite time of the year, there's something about it that makes me feel physically and emotionally well, except for the hayfever which elhamdullah I didn't get this year whoop whoop! I headed out the other day with my growing belly moving more like a walrus now haha to visit my favourite place in Stirling, filling my eyes with these beautiful cherry blossom trees.

Lately I've managed to do my second sunzdid giveaway,  I chose a very special date 10th April my father's birthday, I wanted to celebrate it this year in my own way, he was a very giving and generous person may Allah have mercy on his soul, he loved to draw a smile and was such a positive spirit that could light up a grey day.  So, I though to push myself instead of one winner why not make it three this time and help draw a smile on 3 lucky faces, as a small business owner myself I sure do know how it's hard to get there and succeed, by no means I'm suggesting I am, but I'm trying.  I wanted to give something back I just felt the need to give, hoping it might help them on their journey and definitely cut some expenses out.  

My father's absence still affects my life on a daily basis, I learned after one year and 3 months of his departure that I have my own way to deal with it that's special I try to live the memories and celebrate his life in my own way.  After baba passed away last year, the most that devastated me was him not meeting my now two year old Joud that he absolutely adored, it's something I still have to live with and breaks me a lot.  

I thought for so long how will I make Joud remember dad? they never even met, how could I possibly tell her all about him? how can I describe him? his smile? his personality? the strong character he was? I thought of putting up a scrapbook, drawing everything I could remember all our talks, dreams and those detailed memories of him driving me and my siblings to school, the very old memories that are over 15 years old!! years of memories imprinted in my brain, how could share them with my daughter?I had everything I wanted to use ready and waited for something to start, but I still haven't found it in me to put my dad in a book.   

If you've experienced a loss of a loved one, tell me how did you deal with it? people say time heals, but it remains an open wound forever. 

With Spring's fresh breeze, we are getting ready to welcome our second baby, exciting moments ahead I'm sure, I can't wait to meet the little one inside and can't wait to see Joud's reaction seeing her little brother or sister as we decided this time not to check the baby's gender.  A lot have changed the last year, I've managed to achieve many goals and dreams of mine but the happiness of so many things in life now are just not felt the same, the feeling of happiness from the bottom of the heart is not common without my dad, he'll now miss his second grandchild like he missed my MSc graduation that he was such a huge part of, and so many happy moments in my sibling's lives as well.  Life goes on I was told and it blossoms away...

May Allah grant you the highest place in Jannah

 and may his mercy be upon you 

see you in a better place papa bear x