Slow living

Sunday, 29 July 2018

Somehow I always feel memories are built slowly I don’t know how I’ve made that conclusion but I just feel it, you can be present in a moment that passes so fast that eventually, you don’t recollect anything from it. 
In the past year after my mother’s illness and passing, my life had changed dramatically. I’m just at a point in my life where I am able to lift my head up again to see what’s in front of me. Grief had changed me, the way I think, and see value in things has been altered drastically!  
I became more focused on living a slower life. I remember how tiny slow and repeated acts my parents made seem to be engraved in my deepest memories, things like when my mother would put my socks on when I was little and always tries to soften any wrinkles or folds. I remember her warm hands on my feet.

In the midst of this journey of mine, I started accepting way too many (illustration) commissions than I could possibly handle. I complete my work I always give it my best! But, I do this to occupy myself as much as possible. I get to a very bad place once my hands and heart are unfilled, this might sound strange to people that had not gone through a similar loss or maybe deal with things differently. 
My life was going faster once again, I was just like a machine, lots of what I did was just for the sake of doing it.

 I wasn't very focused or had my heart in things, normal things like cooking and taking care of myself! It's funny how life can change so easily you lose balance, you trip you might fall! I gave myself the duty to juggle so many balls at once, Joud and Adam being the most important of all at all times. I just want to be connected with moments that give me the sense of wellbeing.

I came across this whole new lifestyle through Instagram, I was most likely attracted to the pretty photos used (I’m a visual person) with rustic aesthetics, I got confused a bit about what is exactly a slow lifestyle? the slow movement? is it the new “hygge” that’s bombarded the internet in the past few years? why am seeing some props being copied and almost identical in all the photos used in Instagram? Do I need to own all these things to have a slower life? ladies running into flower fields wearing linen aprons and a messy hair bun! having a rustic table with home-made bread and a basket of fresh produce. Products I see here and there say slow next to them! what do they mean?

What is this image? why is it so demanding? I just wanted to reap the benefits, spend more time with my family, observe more, understand more, I wanted to take things at a calmer pace, to enjoy the things that would possibly pass by without me noticing.

Instagram can trick us to see how people live their lives, shading away that they only share what they choose to show. All the calm collective photos all the serenity and I’m including myself as well, I’m in no place to judge or criticise.

Our society is set up to be in fast mode, we buy we eat we wear fast! impulse is a strong desire marketers have worked on. They got us! they tricked us!.  Being a mother of two, and trying to run my business from two countries can't be but fast at times. However I”m trying every day to take slow small steps to help me through the way, to live it mindfully.

I often think what if I leave this world soon, what have I taught my children? what will they remember of me? and NO I’m not being negative or pessimistic, I’m just simply reflecting on a fact that will happen one day. Reminding ourselves of departure does impact the way you to choose to live your life. I just want to live intentionally with a purpose. I often ask myself what am doing here? what is my purpose? I'm still trying to figure that out.

I'm finally in a place I'm very comfortable at, focusing my daily life to be as sustainable and slow as possible. The marriage of these two hopefully will make me live a conscious life that I've always strived for. That gives one’s self an intention, makes me feel somehow I’m making better choices and hopefully setting a good example for my littles.

Do I live a slow life all the time? everyday? hmmm, so far no will be the most honest answer. Will I be able to? I don't know and as always here on my blog, I have only been writing with honesty, its a journey that I finally wanted to share here, so who knows what happens?

I’ve recently written about all the sustainable changes we’ve been living in Curiously conscious. How a mindful life can change your perspective in life itself is quite amazing, knowing that a single person does have an impact even if so little is very fulfilling!

The other day was one of those hard days, my husband was having a difficult day. I thought with no planning of going out venturing into the woods where all four of us find peace, let go of our worries for a bit and enjoy the moment.
 My husband came very late for our outing he came at seven in the evening, which is half an hour before the children's bedtime. I had piles of my work on my new project, but decided they don't need to sleep on their exact bedtime today! we had fun, it was a slow unrushed outing, we went through a new path, we picked wildflowers, chased butterflies and had fruits and sandwiches for dinner! we found a beautiful stream the children both enjoyed their time, they were so excited, my husband enjoyed it and eased a bit since the morning, eventually, we all just felt better. 

How I decided that day to cancel my daily routine is a big deal for me, I have been always criticised for how I run my life on a schedule and try every day to keep up with it I just want to organise things in order to be done I have too many responsibilities and too much to do, how I get very easily irritated if I can’t for some reason follow it.  

There is so much to explain that, however, the major factor is I suffer from anxiety this is my first time opening up about it, a schedule and knowing what to do gives me steps to follow and a clear vision ahead that I have already thought about previously and was expecting. Unfortunately in today's society anxiety and any mental health topic are taboo. Till this very day, I have talked about this very little with a handful of close people.  

So for me, a slow life calms me down, help me sometimes break some rules I’ve set, tells me you can go out leaving at home piles of laundry that need folding without having to self-impose pressure and striving to be almost a perfect mother and wife!, its not like someone is checking but just because I know I'll have it there waiting for me when I get back! 

Some changes that have worked well for me is to allow some flexibility in our daily routine, unplanned evenings and mornings, going for walks and enjoy Slow food making, by making our food from scratch enjoying it with family and friends with no screens. Making time alone with each my children separately doing the things they love.
Making more of my evening for my self my own learning exploring and trying new ways of painting and designing, reading more of the book that I believe in trying to revise the verses I once knew by heart. I still don't mind messy chores and chaos around, I have a 3 and 1 year old who am I kidding? I have no physical support but from my husband that comes home late.

At the end, I don’t think slow living is black and white. Slow living is not Insta-glamorous but a lifestyle to be lived. I don’t think we can have one definition of it. Do whatever works for you and makes you feel better and suits your needs. With this said, I’m still learning what a slow and sustainable lifestyle means for me and how to live intentionally, I hope in my journey I can somehow inspire you.


  1. I loved reading your life reflections on slow living!So beautifully written!

  2. I can absolutely relate to this post.Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with the daily routine that i just feel like breaking away from all worldly attachments and want to escape to a quite and isolated place. we need to slow down once in a while for just as our body needs rest pour minds need to rest and recharge too. My way of slowing down is by hitting the beach on weekends and listening to the waves, it has a cathartic effect on me.Even a breathing exercise for ten minutes each day helps a lot. Also travelling helps quite a lot to slow things down.

    1. I absolutely agree, we all have different things that calms us down, gives us a bit of a slow moment where we can actually recharge and enjoy beautiful moments in our lives.
      Thanks so much Nazia.

  3. Beautiful post ma shaa Allah.. It is must to take breaks from time to time. And slow living is peaceful <3

    1. I'm glad you liked it! It is indeed. Thank you Ayeina

  4. I can relate to lots of this, Feeling overwhelmed and confused by day to day activities is crazy add four kids and you are in an other world. I love the changes you made in your lives.

    A very informative post as always Shomous you are now officially my favourite Libyan Blogger ever.
    On a side note I have trying to follow a particular lifestyle. Another person has been living another lifestyle but we overlap in many things. That person has been quite unkind to me accusing of copying and being more of a bully honestly. I just wanted to ask if you have any solution for this and word of advice I appreciate

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    2. Raby yaeank dear! I know it's difficult with them four but also so incrdeibly sweet!!, bless them inshaalh. Ehhh, I thought I was your fav anyways hahah?
      Many people feel jealousy and maybe insecurity, because they think you're stepping on their toes an probably they think they own it, you know what I mean?
      Since I know you personally I truly understand very well what you mean, it's upsetting!
      do what you love and believe in. No one created a lifestyle nor it can be owned!!! why biterniss over who does good to this earth? maybe someone needs to get off her high horse and respect the role and contribution of others as they offer too! it's not a damn race of who wins?? If that person's bitterness is still upsetting you. Please forget about their existence overall. Note to myself as well.
      Ps: you're doing a hell of a job! you're simply amazing Majood x

  5. Hello! I love your writing because it reflects how I'm feeling at the moment. I feel like I'm rushing around trying to do "everything"and for what?? I feel as if lately, I'm not exactly enjoying the moment, I'm more looking forward to things to come and I hate that. I'm not even sure how I got to this place mentally or how to get out of it? I think you made the right move, nature is such a refreshing element of this life on earth. <3

  6. Totally relate to this...especially to this: I often think what if I leave this world soon, what have I taught my children? what will they remember of me?

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts

  7. It's a great reading! We are living in a techy world now and that's what's make our lives pace fast. Especially internet! If we go back to our lives way back 80s it will be slow and much better I believe. Because our time would be more to our love ones. Also because time flies so fast now that we have a daily routine which most of the time can't even fit for 24hrs.

  8. I can totally relate to this, over time I have become a person who can just stop doing daily routines and be ok with it! Thanks for sharing!

  9. I relate to you on so many levels. I want a slow life, but I am always drawn back to those distractions (social media, work). I tell myself the change might happen slowly as well, but I cant give up.