Structuring motherhood

Monday, 10 December 2018

A structure is something I've always had in my life. I can only function properly if I had a clear guidance of what will I be doing next? what's important, what's the least important, and what's the most important. Anything to keep me afloat with all the responsibilities a wife,  mother of two, and a small business owner.

Many assume that a stay at home mum has pretty much an easy job to do. The amount of energy and attention children in all ages need is tremendous. Being a first-time mum comes with challenges, it is even harder when you have no hands-on family support. It's hard being pregnant and have a two year old. It's hard to have two littles, all come with a challenge, I've done all, and truly imagine the struggles with everything life throws in your face it's not an easy job at all.
 I've shared some of my thoughts lately on my Instagram stories and had a lovely feedback. It's so comforting at times to share what you really feel and end up finding people across social media that relate and feel the struggle too.

In this day and age, we often see the nice organised eye pleasing photos on social media, some may think that's the only thing people do, I know I was certainly judged before of how dreamy and bubbly my life looks like on Instagram, people sometimes forget what is shared on social media can be less than %1 of a normal day!

We are by nature habitual creatures, we do things off of habit every day, without even thinking.  You go to the kitchen put the kettle on and get a cup out etc. So based on that we can be doing many things a day without much thinking or time wasting. So you get the laundry in the washing machine, turn it on when its done then hang the laundry right? see that's how it's done. If we look at other things in our day the same way, it will save us much time thinking and preparing. So here are a couple of things I've written that might inspire or help.

Schedule, organize and declutter 
I often need to that in my whole life generally, that's why I sometimes sign off of social media quietly for some time.  As I mentioned earlier on, I'm a creature of habit, a spontaneous day for a mother of two is not easy.  Littles thrive on routine and so do I, without a routine I'll drop a couple of balls that I'm juggling and I never want to see my kids to be that ball.

1. Set yourself a daily schedule from the time you wake up until you sleep. So for example (wake up 6:00, pray Fajr 6:05, breakfast 6:30 etc) the most productive and easy going days for me start with praying Fajr on time then a workout in the morning.

2. Classifying responsibilities so what's the top priority today? make lunch, pay bills, book an appointment for Adam's vaccine.
Important: Post an order, call my friend for condolences.
Less important: Clean the back garden, send the second round of proofs to the client (within the time frame). Can be done later: Buy a gift for my friend I'm visting in two weeks.

3. Anchor points 
I found this very helpful in the past few years, having set anchor points, so this year for me, my morning anchor point is the time I drop and pick Joud from nursery. So what I do is try to squeeze as much as I can in those hours where I'm usually at home. So by the time I'm out for pickup I know I've ticked a couple of things off, I have breakfast, wash breakfast dishes, take care of laundry whether its a wash, hang or fold.  Spend some quality time with Adam that can even be by him engaging in the morning schedule, workout for at least 50 mins four times a week ( I still struggle and fight my demons with this regularly) he loves playing around with the resistant bands and find it funny when they bounce back (adorable baby), shower and get dressed and out to pick up Joud. That's all in 3 hours, it's possible I promise. Evening anchor point is the kid's bedtime at 19:30.

4. Define time wasters (أَفَحَسِبْتُمْ أَنَّمَا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ عَبَثًا وَأَنَّكُمْ إِلَيْنَا لَا تُرْجَعُونَ)
This is very important and I can't emphasise it enough. Our days in this life has been already written. How we use our time is important to be conscious of. Yes, the world can be a happy place and we have countless blessings to enjoy. But we just should be conscious not to waste our time on things that drain us and suck all the energy out of us.
- Personally, I always believed unnecessary social events are major time wasters. And now I'm quite the expert to decline kindly. Also eliminating toxic people is something that clears your vision and time.  Choose wisely with whom, where and in what you'd rather spend your life.
Occupy your time learning, teaching and exploring. Surrounding yourself with loving people only helps you be a better you.
Stay away from any bickery, don't allow anyone to drag you down to their level whether its that bully constantly mocking your writings, emotions and work accusing you of things that were interpreted by their own untrue thoughts. Or that person that gossips with every breath.
- Social media (Instagram for me) I spend far too much time on Instagram. I'm trying now to take one day off weekly and limiting my hours in a specific time every day. The new feature they have in the app itself is very helpful to track your activity.

5. Structure we can always be productive with simple planning, you get the best key right here. Children thrive on structure, they love to know what's next. I'm quite hesitant to share our whole routine, but here is a small part, we have lunch around 12:45-13:00, then go for our (quite hour) Joud gets her 1hr screen time as she no longer naps much and I get to recharge myself with a wee power nap. Do this and you'll have so much more time to enjoy with your kids, make crafts go for a nature walk, enjoy nature and teach your children about it, bake or just read stories. We all have the same 24 hours a day, we just need to sit down and look at what is more important!

- Start making a meal plan, nothing too detailed, if you're not a meal prepper like myself. Then maybe just write down we'll have a vegetarian meal on Saturday, a Libyan meal on Sunday and Monday's for fish etc. This helped me from standing every day in the kitchen scratching my head on what to cook (wasting time).

- Process house chores in batches. Say Saturday is for windows, Mondays and Wednesdays for laundry etc. I get things done better this way and mcuh more faster.

Self-discipline We need to work our lives smarter not harder. Self-discipline is what keeps us from eating crisps at breakfast. "Everything of value requires care, attention and discipline. Our thoughts require discipline. We must consistently determine our inner boundaries and our codes of conduct or our thoughts will be confused. And if our thoughts are confused, we will become hopelessly lost in the maze of life. Confused thoughts produce confusing results."
John Rohn. The key to getting all you want is self-discipline. 

Be real you're the best person that can help you! always stay real. Know the hours that you're in your prime energy throughout the day. Know when are you capable of work, for example, I start work on my small businesses after the children's bedtime. I can't work effectively when they're awake and I don't want work to consume my life, that's their time that's their rights that I've set that I am comfortable with. I just reply to emails and general enquiries, take photos, post any orders, and Instagram a bit that's pretty much my normal daily life


Be gentle on yourself you can be anything but you can't be everything. Motherhood comes with many sacrifices, my biggest one would go to me choosing not to work in the field I spent most of my life working hard in and trying to build. It still aches at times, especially when I see my peers in a stage I would've been in.  I tried for many years to mute that thumping vein in me, I gave up and rested now that the scientist in me will never disappear.
I found new ways to still fulfil me with that. Whether that's illustrating the animals I love or read the latest scientific discoveries in subjects that tickle my brain. Since adopting a sustainable lifestyle that got me back again to things that once mattered so much for me and were the centre of my life for so long.
- Once in a while take a day off routine (its fine), random works well for me.
- Spend more time with friends, I'm very lucky to have friends that love my children to bits and have all the patience in the world with them. Have a laugh and do the things you enjoy the most.



Embrace your identity when you become a mother your life will change, you don't have the same free time as before, you don't get to say the last word in sleep for example (especially with newborns) and you probably don't look the same and that's fine. You'll find a balance, embrace it and enjoy the precious time with your little one.  Many mothers lose their identities for many reasons, it might be because you were attached to your job your life revolved around it. You might lose your identity because you stopped taking care of yourself you can't even recognise yourself in the mirror.


Respect time and life choices so often I've been called the (catalogue mother) haha! I think it's actually true. Apparently, I come with a list in my brain that helps in my daily life.  Though, it's good to know people understand I respect my time and other people's time and lives equally.
I've also been told "in her own world في حالها" I value time a lot, I know what's gone and with whom will never come back.
My parenting skills have been criticised on many occasions (which I think happens to us all) Joud and Adam's bedtime seems to be where many people find it unfair on them to "sleep way too early", well I beg to differ Allah created night for a reason and the dayligt as well, the sleep-wake cycle is importnat to be understood. I wrote a  previous post about it here night-night
 The demands in Libyan culture for some people (home visits) is something I've never been comfortable with. I'll do it a couple of times a year, but I can't do numerous usual visits per month where I'm expected to be a brilliant chef and hostess! I just would like to fill my life with things that are more meaningful to myself with more intention  I like to meet people that brighten my soul.


Growth and self-improvement do your future self a favour and spend at least two hours a day completely for yourself!. Yes. add that to your schedule every day. do whatever you like just for you, don't clean a cupboard, don't do online shopping for your kids at this time. Whether it is reading a book, or watching a film for the seventh time or maybe even wearing a ton of makeup and washing it off after ten minutes, learning a new skill etc.
Whatever it is that makes you happy go for it. Never mind your age, do it today not tomorrow. What about your dreams? life is very short, today you woke up with the grace of god healthy you never know what's around the corner. Do this for your sanity and soul, I promise you will feel better every day, you deserve it. Don't be a martyr in your own life, we just think its difficult as much as we convince ourselves it is!


Slow living everything in this life comes to an end. One day I'll have only one hour in the morning with my children then set them off to school. I won't have them around me a much as now, I know I'll miss them shadowing me around, I'll miss it a lot. I'll have less time with them as they grow up every year. I want to look back at this time in our lives and let my heart rest that I've made the best choice, I've chosen to stay at home with them and work from home for myself, wellbeing.
This is just my life and the choices I've made. We're all different and have different lives to live.

So whatever feels right in your heart and soul (assure yourself that you're the best mother ever for your child) this is why eliminating time wasters is vital.
Since adopting a slow lifestyle I've been living with more intention, noticing the ordinary moments, appreciating them and being much more present than I ever was. Losing my parents in a short time triggered this in me, it made me appreciate the repeated acts we live daily. They are the most that I miss every day and the most that have such value in my heart. Being present with my family helped me a lot, here is a previous blog post about slow living



I don't know what you're going through in your life, I don't know if you're caring for an elderly with terminal illness, I don't know if you don't have anyone to ask about parenting and keep breaking down in many situations, I don't know if you have a disabled child, I don't know if you're going through financial stress, I don't know if grief consumes you, I don't know if you're in an abusive relationship, I don't know if you're playing the role of both parents, I don't know if you hate all the extra weight you see in the mirror, I don't know any of what you're going through. But I just wanted to write this to help mothers out there struggling like myself. I know I've gone through many of these issues and know many that go through this every day. But I hope you'll find a way.



I've grown up with this (routine and scheduling), my mother was a teacher and a mother of four, we always had set times for everything. Looking back now I don't know how she did it, how she managed all this whilst suffering from chronic diseases throughout her life. She's always been the perfect mother role model. Always on time, we had our breakfast ready for school, our clothes clean and ironed, our sandwiches wrapped neatly waiting for us to pick up, we come home from school to see everything tidy and clean! 
How she managed to raise us in another country far from home, learned a new language, was at many stages in our lives playing the role of both parents whilst dad was the primary breadwinner working away. How was it possible to take care of our education and maintain it in two languages. Every day we went to school, weekdays for the Irish school and weekends were for the Libyan school, this went on for years. She never had a rest, not one day. Now I see a lot of this repeating in my own life.
 Writing this with a heavy heart it's by gods will I can only look back and see how she did it and try to figure it out. Try to follow some of her guiding points and remember her strict grip on us and all the choices she made that stemmed from nurture and love she gave us until she left and still lives inside us. 
This post and many others to come will be inspired by mother Allah yerhamha

Please pray for her if you stop by. 


الهيكيلة في حياتنا اليومية مهم جداً، عن نفسي يومي مايمشيش بشكل سليم إلا إذا كان عندي إرشادات واضحة شن حندير اليوم. ما هو المهم ما هو الأقل أهمية ، والأكثر أهمية. أي شيء ليبقى توازني مع جميع المسؤوليات كزوجة وأم لطفلين  ،مسؤلة على مشروعان صغيران.

هلبه ناس تفكر أ٫ شغل الأم في الحوش شي ساهل والأمومة في حد ذاتها أمر بسيط وبديهي! وهذا غير صحيح. كمية الطاقة والثقافة والجهد اللي تحتاجها الأم للاهتمام بالأطفال في جميع الأعمار رهيبة. كونك أمًا لأول مرة تأتي مع تحديات ، يصبح الأمر أكثر صعوبة عندما لا يكون لديك دعم عائلي مباشر، بعيدة عن أهلك متغربة  وغيره من الظروف. من الصعب أن

حنا بطبيعتنا مخلوقات اعتيادية ، نفعل أشياء من العادة كل يوم ، دون حتى التفكير. نذهب إلى المطبخ نضع الغلاية أو الكتل نأخدو طاسة ونجهز بش نديرو طاسة شاهي. فعلى هالأساس ممكن نفعل أشياء كثيرة في اليوم دون الكثير من التفكير أو إضاعة الوقت. هناك بعض الأشياء التي كتبتها والتي قد تساعدك.

 declutter و جدولة وتنظيم  
غالبا ما احتاج لذلك في حياتي كلها بشكل عام. كما ذكرت في وقت سابق ، أنا نحب العادات اليومية ونحب انظم وقتي، يوم
. عفوي بدون اي ترتيب لأم لطفلين ليس بالأمر السهل
يعني لو مش منظمه وقتي ممكن يجي الظهر ومافيش غداء واتي ولو شي بسيط، الغسيل مش مغسول، مافيش أكل في الثلاجة الصغار نومهم ملخبط وبذلك نومي وهكذا.

1. ضع لنفسك جدولاً يومياً من وقت استيقاظك حتى تنام. هكذا على سبيل المثال (الاستيقاظ الساعة 6:00 ، صلاة الفجر 6:05 ، الفطور 6:30 الخ) الأيام الأكثر إنتاجية وخفيفة بالنسبة لي تبدأ مع صلاة الفجر في الوقت المحدد ثم تمارين رياضية في الصباح.

2. تصنيف المسؤوليات
إذن ما هي الأولوية القصوى اليوم؟ تحضير وجبة الغداء ، دفع الفواتير ، حجز موعد تطعيم آدم.
هام: أرسل طلبًا ، واتصل بصديقي لتقديم التعازي.
أقل أهمية: تنظيف الحديقة الخلفية ، إرسال الجولة الثانية من التصاميم إلى العميل (ضمن الإطار الزمني).
يمكن القيام به في وقت لاحق: شراء هدية لصديقي اللي حنزورها بعد اسبوعين ان شاء الله.

3. نقاط الربط
آخر شيء مهم جدا وساعدني هلبه في السنوات  الماضية ، هو وجود نقاط ربط مثال السنة هذه بالنسبة لي ، نقطة الربط الصباح هو الوقت الذي نحط جود في الروضة ونروج بيها. ما أفعله هو محاولة ندير اكبر شي ممكن قدر المستطاع في تلك الساعات. مثلا نفطر ، نغسل اماعين الفطور، نشوف الغسيل اللي يبي غشل، نشر ولا تطبيق. رياضة لمدة لا تقل عن 50 دقيقة أربع مرات في الأسبوع (ما زلت نكافح في نفسي ونحاول كل مره نحافظ عليها) ، والاستحمام وارتداء الملابس هذا كله في تلاثة ساعات.  وبالنسبة لنقطة الربط المسائية هي وقت نوم الصغار الساعة 7:30 مساءً.

4. حددي وين اضيعي في وقتك؟
 (أَفَحَسِبْتُمْ أَنَّمَا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ عَبَثًا وَأَنَّكُمْ إِلَيْنَا لَا تُرْجَعُونَ)
- هذا مهم للغاية ولا يمكنني التأكيد عليه بما فيه الكفاية. لقد كتبت أيامنا في هذه الحياة بالفعل. كيف نستخدم وقتنا من المهم أن تكون واعية لإختياراتك. يمكن للعالم أن يكون مكانًا سعيدًا ولدينا عدد لا يحصى من النعم للاستمتاع بها. لكن يجب علينا فقط أن نكون واعين ألا نضيع وقتنا في أشياء كهذه.
- أنا شخصياً كنت دائماً أؤمن بأن الأحداث الاجتماعية غير الضرورية هي من الأمور الرئيسية التي تضيع الوقت. والآن أنا خبيرة في الرفض بطريقة لطيفة. اختر بحكمة مع من وأين تفضل قضاء حياتك.
عبي وقتك في التعليم والتعلم والاستكشاف. إحاطة نفسك بالأشخاص المحبين لن يساعدك إلا في أن تكون أفضل. ابق بعيدا عن أي مشاجرة ، لا تسمح لأي شخص أن يسحبك إلى مستواه سواء كان ذلك انسان فارغ أو يدوي عالناس ويفتن ويفتي ويكذب ويزيد غير ذنوب. 
- الحد من ساعات نشاطك عالسوشل ميديا مثلا هي وحدة من الأمور اللي نحاول نركز عليها وندير يوم في الاسبوع بدون -انستجرام بما انه نفوت في هلبه وقت عليه.

5. الهيكل/ الجدول والتكوين
يمكننا دائمًا أن نكون منتجين بالتخطيط البسيط ، فأنت تحصل على أفضل مفتاح هنا. الأطفال يزدهرون على الهيكل ، يحبون أن يعرفوا ما هو القادم.
 جزء صغير من روتينا اليومي كمثال ،  الغداء حوالي 12: 45-13: 00 ، ثم اذهب لإعادة شحن نفسي بقيلولة خفيفة. وجود تحصل ساعة من وقت الشاشة أو الرسوم.

- ابدأ في إعداد خطة للوجبات اليومية . ثم ربما نكتب فقط سنحصل على وجبة نباتية يوم السبت ، وجبة ليبية في يوم الأحد والاثنين للاسماك الخ. وهذا ساعدني من الوقوف كل يوم في المطبخ  تكون عندي فكرة عالأقل شنو اليوم المكون الرئيسي.
- الأعمال المنزلية خليها على دفعات. مثلا السبت للرواشن ، أيام الاثنين والأربعاء لغسيل الملابس إلخ.
- افعل هذا وستحصل على مزيد من الوقت للاستمتاع به مع أطفالك ،حيكون عندك وقت تطلعي مع صغارك، والاستمتاع بالطبيعة وتعليم أطفالك عن ذلك ، أو قراءة القصص اي شي ممكن تعبي بيه وقت يفيدهم ويفيدك.

6. الانضباط الذاتي
نحن بحاجة إلى أن نعمل في حياتنا بذكاء وليس بصعوبة ومجهود كبير.
"كل شيء ذي قيمة يتطلب العناية والانتباه والانضباط. أفكارنا تتطلب الانضباط. يجب أن نحدد باستمرار حدودنا الداخلية ومدونات سلوكنا أو أفكارنا سوف تكون مشوشة. وإذا كانت أفكارنا مشوشة ، فسوف نفقد مسارنا في المتاهة.  إن الأفكار المرتبكة الغير منظمة تنتج نتائج مربكة ".
جون روهن. المفتاح للحصول على كل ما تريده هو الانضباط الذاتي.

كن حقيقياً أنك أفضل شخص يمكن أن تساعد نفسك! . اعرف الساعات التي تكون فيها طاقتك مشتعلة خلال اليوم. تعرف متى أنت قادر على العمل ، على سبيل المثال ، أبدأ العمل في أعمالي الصغيرة بعد وقت نوم الأطفال. لا أستطيع العمل بفعالية عندما يكونون مستيقظين ولا أريد أن يستهلك العمل حياتي ، فهذا هو وقتهم هو حقوقهم التي وضعتها وأنا مرتاحة جدا الحمدلله. أعمل فقط على الرد على رسائل البريد الإلكتروني والاستفسارات العامة ، والتقاط الصور ، و Instagram قليلاً وهذا إلى حد كبير ما أفعله عادة.

كن لطيفًا على نفسك يمكنك أن تكون أي شيء إلا أنك لا تستطيع أن تكون كل شيء. تأتي الأمومة مع الكثير من التضحيات ، أكبرها لي ألا أختار العمل في الحقل الذي أمضيت معظم حياتي أعمل بجد وأحاول أن أبني نفسي فيه. لا يزال الأمر مؤلم في بعض الأحيان ، خاصة عندما أرى أقراني في مرحلة كنت سأكون فيها لو استمريت في مجالي. حاولت لسنوات عديدة أن أتجاهل هذا الهرق النابض في نفسي وقلبي، استسلمت  الآن لأن العالمة وحب العلم في داخلي لن يختفي أبداً. لقد وجدت طرقًا جديدة لتحقيق ذلك. سواء كان ذلك برسم الحيوانات التي أحبها أو أقرأ أحدث الاكتشافات العلمية في المواضيع التي تحرك عقلي. منذ اعتماد أسلوب حياة مستدام أعادني مرة أخرى إلى أشياء كانت ذات يوم تهمني كثيرا وكانت مركز حياتي لفترة طويلة.
- خلي يوم بدون روتين ، بشكل عشوائي.
- أقضي المزيد من الوقت مع الأصدقاء ، فأنا محظوظة للغاية لأن لدي أصدقاء يحبون أطفالي. اضحك وافعل الأشياء التي تستمتع بها.

اعتنقي هويتك عندما تصبحي أمًا ستتغير حياتك ، ولن يكون لديك نفس وقت الفراغ كما كان من قبل ، ولا يمكنك قول الكلمة الأخيرة في النوم على سبيل المثال. وربما لا تبدي على ما يرام وهذا طبيعي. ستجدي التوازن ، وتحتضنيه وتستمتعي بالوقت الثمين مع طفلك الصغير. العديد من الأمهات يفقدن هوياتهن لأسباب عديدة ، قد يكون ذلك بسبب ارتباطك بعملك الذي كانت تدور حوله حياتك. قد تفقدي هويتك لأنك توقفت عن الاعتناء بنفسك حتى أنك لا تستطيع التعرف على نفسك في المرآة.

احترام الوقت وخيارات الحياة غالبا ما يطلق عليه اسم (الأم الكتالوج) هاها! ومع ذلك ، أعتقد أنه في الواقع صحيح إلى حد كبير!. أن الناس يعرفون الآن أنني أحترم وقتي ووقت الآخرين ومسؤلياتهم. 
هذا هو السبب اللي ينقال عليا "في عالمها الخاص" "على حالها" أنا أقدرالوقت كثيراً. إن المطالب في الثقافة الليبية بالنسبة لبعض الناس للقيام بزيارات منزلية أمر لم أكن مرتاحًة له كثيراً. سأفعل ذلك عدة مرات في السنة ، لكن من فضلك لا تتوقع مني أن أقوم بذلك عشر مرات في الشهر. التوقعات الرهيبة لأنك تكوني طباخة ممتازة وانسانة مضيافة في اي وقت وكم مره في الشهر مع كل مسؤلياتك امر فوق من قدرتي. أود فقط أن تملأ حياتي بأشياء أكثر أهمية.

النمو والتحسين الذاتي قم بتحسين الذات بنفسك وقضاء ساعتين على الأقل في اليوم بالكامل بنفسك ولنفسك ! أضف ذلك إلى جدولك اليومي كل يوم. افعل ما تشاء فقط من أجلك ، لا تنظف خزانة ، لا تقومي بالتسوق عبر الإنترنت لأطفالك في هذا الوقت. سواء كان تقري كتاب ولا اتبعي مسلسل للمرة الألف مش مهم. اي شي يبسطك إنت.

إن الواحد يركز في وقته وينظمه ويحول الأمور اللي تستهلكه في طاقته وجهده، تستسنزف في روحه! أمور مايحبهاش فعلا ولا يحس نفسه يمشي فيها غير بالمجاملة. يحولها أحسن. لو شي ماتحبيشي اتفاديه، شوفي شي ثاني افيد واصلح وانسب ليك في ديناتك وأخرتك وعبيه بيه خير.  الدنيا قصيرة والعمر قصير. ضياع وقتنا وعمرنا حنتحاسبو عليه. ضيعي عمرك وحياتك في شي ليه منفعة ليك للحواليك.  ربي يوفقكم جميعاً.
 عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ , قَالَ : " لا تَزُولُ قَدَمُ ابْنِ آدَمَ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ حَتَّى يُسْأَلَ عَنْ عُمُرِكَ فِيمَا أَفْنَيَتَهُ ، وَعَنْ شَبَابِكَ فِيمَا أَبْلَيْتَهُ ، وَعَنْ مَالِكَ مِنْ أَيْنَ اكْتَسَبْتَهُ وَفِيمَا أَنْفَقَتَهُ ، وَمَا عَمِلْتَ فِيمَا عَلِمْتَ ". كله مكتوب وكله محسوب.

هذا البوست وبوستات ثانية على الأمومة حننرشها في المستقبل ان شاء الله كان من تأثير أمي الله يرحمها، قدوتي وحبيتي.
أمي كانت أبلة وأم لأربعة أطفال، ربتنا في الغربة في بلاد غريبة عليها. قرينا كل يوم في الأسبوع حتى السبت واأحد قدرت بجهدها وجهد والدي رحمة الله عليه انها تحافظ على مستوانا الدراسي باللغتين. وكنا زي هلبه مغتربين موازنين اللغتين والثقافتين وعادات ليبيا ودينا. انوضوا الصبح على الموعد نلقوا فطورنا واتي فطور المدرسه مغلف ويستنى فينا. نروحوا الحوش نظيف والغداء طايب وكل يوم شكل. المجهود اللي دارته أمي مع معاناتها بأمراض مزمنة لسنين طويلة شي نشوف فيه عظيم جداً شي لليوم ولو قطعت من نفسي كل يوم ماعمري حنوفيها حقها. 
الله يغفر لأمي ويرحمها ويجعل مثواها الجنة ويلاقينا بيها في جنته.


  1. Marshallh Shoumos you never fail to impress me. A very in depth article coming from a hardworking mother. Subhan Allah how much your charcter evolved as a mumma and still have that golden warm heart. Allah mercy on your mum and dad for raising such a thoutghful child. احبك في الله وباذنه اركي وابناكي قريب. Layla ;)

    1. Layla I was very happy reading your comment! Thank you very much, hope you’re all well. Amen 🙏🏼. Hope to see you soon wherever it is in this world. Your Arabic mashallah I’m so impressed, send me your number love x


    2. Layla I was very happy reading your comment! Thank you very much, hope you’re all well. Amen 🙏🏼. Hope to see you soon wherever it is in this world. Your Arabic mashallah I’m so impressed, send me your number love x

  2. Jazakallah Khair for your article, I too love to be organised. Well I try my best it does not always go to plan but at least I do have a plan. There are a lot of good points in your article some I have not come across before like the anchor points, is this the same as priroties, as in doing them first? Anyway your article and helpful points will help a lot

    1. Thanks so much Jamila! anchor points are very good, they help me so much to set everything in a routine.
      No, its not tha same as priroties. So its to do the same things everyday so for eaxmple I've writen about the time I drop and pick up my daughter. So I sqeeze in as much housework and workout as possible that day, it works as a very good motivation for me as well.

  3. Ma shaa Allah! Such deep thoughts and such an amazing article. These tips are truly beneficial. Jazakallahu Khayr for sharing ❣️

  4. This was a great post! Those entering their mothering journey (or those deep in the throes of motherhood) would truly benefit from it insha'Allah. You are inspiring! Keep going <3 May Allah reward your mother for the wonderful example she set. Allah yar7amha.

  5. This was such a beautiful article! Touched me on so many levels. Jazakillah khairan kaseeran for the motivation and all the tips. I am sharing this with my friends inshaAllah

    1. Thank you so much Aleeza! your comments motivate me as well.
      Jzk x

  6. This was a lovely read filled with great points <3 I love how you mentioned to define time wasters, this is so key! As soon as I cut out cable in our home, I found that we were all more productive as a family!

    1. Thank you Sumaira. Defining time wasters is absoutely important. Defintely, agree with you it can make a huge differnce x

  7. Masha'Allah some great points. Agree that there should be a schedule. It really does help. Although sometimes 2 hours a day to yourself can be hard, especially when the kids are still little.

    1. Thank you! of course with newborn especially and all their needs (waking up for feeding, changing etc). Hopfeully, there is some way mums can get sometime for their selves.

  8. First huge apologies for not able to comment before....just tried again and my comment was through using mobile....

    This is one of the best post I read on motherhood...you have beautifully pictured it all .....the fears, pains, love and glory....

  9. A very detailed article with many pearls of wisdom for mothers. As mothers we need to plan and follow these plans, else everything will go out of control. I am struggling with the me time, with time for Islamic studies and exercise. It’s just a matter of discipline as you have stated. Even I wonder how my mother managed to raise us so well. May Allah help us become good parents.Aameen.

    1. Amen Nazia, thank you!
      Displine can help starighten up the struggles we go through as mothers daily. I studied as a mother and worked as a mother as well, many challenges we go through I can relate to many mums out there. Inshallah we can raise our kids in the best way we know.

  10. Your ideas really encourage me to accomplish more things & in a better way. I've read a lot of your posts where you mentioned your mother & father & I pray for them. May Allah forgive them and have mercy on them.

    1. Radia thank you very much for your sweet words. I'm very happy to hear that x
      Amen, jazak Allah khaer Radia, I really appreciate that.